Riding on my Pink Cadillac,

before i head to bed, i wanna give thanks. thanks to whoever's been hearing and answering my prayers, i don't know who, but maybe credits to 11:11, or eyelashes or anita and amora who's been giving me great advices. ok this sounds really silly but when you're helpless, you will turn to just whoever that you think may help you. glad to say, my darker days are finally over. right now i am so contented with my life, i shan't go into details cus blogging often jinx it i dont know why. anyway finally things are back on the track and i believe that there are better days to come. so thanks to everyone who has been there for me once again, you guys are a big help. here's a GREAT hug, i love you guys. thank you so much.

Today, I looked at one of my friend and thought about how I used to make remarks about this person's life. How I used to think because I have a much happening life, I'm more superior than him/her. &then today I looked at this person as s/he walked away, I realised how fucking arrogant and complacent I was. I should have been contented of what I had and not bring others down by flaunting it. Now s/he has something that I don't have and I feel like a bloody loser but I know this is what they call karma.

& on the way home, it suddenly dawned on me that, perhaps its exactly this arrogance of mine that life took away my most precious possesion to make me learn a lesson, the hard way. Now I know, if I have something that others don't have, I should feel blessed and just keep my mouth shut and not even think that s/he's a loser just because s/he don't have what I have 'cause that is wrong.

& maybe now that I've learnt my lesson, and am learning to grow up, life's gonna return me my beloved.

Sidenote:

Picture above, needy Tangle cosying up to me, bearbearleong and piggybee. &all four of us went to a nap together minutes aft this photo was taken. These days, Tangle follows me around more and always choose to lie beside me. It's either he's cold, or he knows I'm lonely too.

Nights fellas!

letsfallinlovetogether.tumblr.com

better go get ready now, meeting my girls for dinner :)

shall blog bout the trip before i head to bed! need to wake up early tomorrow to do assignmentz.

anyway to whoever who reads the blog, i'm sure you do know bout this trip right, it's my pursuit of happiness. he told me not to upload these picts to fb so i'm uploading here cus readers here are all my close friends so no harm right!

here, excited to meet the lover in another four hours' time!

airasia very lousy leh, no boarding pass, only boarding receipt haha.

luckily they were willing to acc there, otherwise i wont have these two days of happiness :)

YAYYYY!

when i saw him at the airport, it was all awkward. i felt like idk this man anymore cus i havent seen him for so long. but it didnt take long for us to warm up and be back to normal again. i love having him around, i hope he does

too :)

i love the way he drives haha. he gets so uptight and scared but it's so cute :)

one last one in the room before we leave. :/

small hotel, but 110sgd for two nights and wifi in my room! more than expected alr haha.

anyway i got short term memory so i only rmbr all the sweet things that happened, all trivial stuffs i forgot alr. so these two days were all worthwhile and i believe we are both working on it and let's hope everything will turn out like what we want the next time we meet which is next month.

i love you, honey. :)

I'm really really happy and contented how things has turned out during these two days. Somehow, it was even more than what I've expected. Sam asked if I'm finally feeling secured now, I thought so, but I'm still afraid. I know his feelings now and I'm really glad, but when I think about the fact that he's still not mine, I'm still afraid. It's like you're grabbing onto something but you can lose grip of it anytime. I don't like this feeling but I know I shouldn't complain anymore. From zero to what I have now, I've put in so much effort. I have to remind myself that I should be contented, 'cause if I complain about what I have now, they might just take everything away and I can't afford that to happen.

Aside from that, I feel blessed these days. Have you ever spend time with someone so special that you think you guys complete each other? It's like when you're with that person, you've found your missing piece. When I was with him, my heart felt so secure and for the first time in so long, I am genuinely filled with happiness and not worries. Not one worry has struck me when I was with him. When in doubt, I'll hold your hand and everything will be alright. When I'm sad, I pout, and you will come around and place your forehead against mine, hold my hands and give me a kiss. You are never good at words but I know what you're trying to convey with ever single action of yours. And I love them. I love how you laugh till you're breathless. I love holding your hands when you drive. I love it when I tried to let go of your hand and you grabbed it the moment I lose grip. Most importantly of all, I love you.

It's amazing how you can not meet someone for the longest time, but when fate brings you back together, it's as though you guys were never apart. I think that's wonderful. That means there's something special between the both of you. And I'm so so glad I managed to find a love so strong. Though the next time I'll see you is a month away. But like what Chris said, a month for a lifetime of happiness? I guess it's all worthwhile. I think so too. I can't wait, baby, to hug you, kiss you and hold your hands whenever we go :)

I foresee that this post is gonna be wordy. Well, haha one last post before I shut the laptop and resume my packing. Urgh I seriously hate packing stuffs, but what to do. Wishing that I can just go to sleep and when I'll open my eyes, I'll wake up to him hehe. Though I really like taking planes but still, I really can't wait to see him! Another ten hours to go, omg. Ok I'll see him before I even know it :D

Met my darling girlfriends for dinner just now, nothing fancy, just dinner at Mosburger and chit chat for a couple of hours straight. Ya and thanks to ming I had to eat some potato burger alongside with french fries (potato) plus clam chowder (with potato chunks inside) but still hahaha you know I'm only fa fa lao sao. Watched "My girlfriend's an agent" with wantonmee aft that, it was nice and funny lei hahaha. Hopefully when I get there we will have some movies to watch too.

What else, 've got some family problems but thinking of the fact that I'm seeing him tomorrow makes everything ok. Nothing else can bring me down. I'm starting to worry bout tmrw alr, how?! I better go sleep and not think so much, leave all the rest to the one and half hours on the plane later for some serious thoughts.

Friends, take care!!! I'll be back in no time, (with good news!)

time for some tumblr-lovin' :

old love: the sweetest kind of love.

i bet you're gushing. if you're not then you're just jealous.

i love this. &i long one day he'll tell me something like this. something that lets me know he's worth the wait all this while.

can you believe it? two more days and i get to meet him. two more days ha ha ha. time for some kisses!

(K)

charms' big nineteen last night over at stjames. i luv spending time with the bistro girls, though i've quit long time but we're still in contact and that makes me really happy hehe. i'll just let the pictures do all the talking!

i luv my pink boots.

music was great but i dont rly like stjames idk why. still prefer phuture & zirca. i shall give stjames one more shot next time. left much earlier than expected due to dizzy spells, lousy me. but still, happy birthday charms, you know i love you! (L)

This space has been filled with all sorts of emo posts that makes people wants to kill themselves after reading it. But I'm so sorry 'cus the author here isn't in a happy place now so just bear with it. I'm waiting for my sunshine after this rain as well. Can't wait to be truly happy and worry-free, just like before.

Yesterday was heart-breaking, actually it is, everyday. But last night I was hurt to the extent that I couldn't breathe. But I'm really thankful to these 5 people who're my first choice to turn to, and they never ran away - Sam, Casse, Wan, Ming and Venice. Thanks for tolerating all my nonsense and my depressing thoughts. You guys are so supportive, I'm really thankful for all of your existence. I have the most wonderful girlfriends around. Go on, be jealous :)

But later at night everything felt better. It seems so silly but yet it's true that the one who's making you hurt is the only one who can take all the pain away. One phone call and it changes everything. The hurt in my heart went away in an instant and soon my msn was again filled with the long-lost smiley faces. Though I'm afraid that some time soon these days he's going to say another word and all the pain will come back and find me but I really like how I'm feeling now so I'm just hoping that it won't be replaced by pain again.

My sweethearts have been telling me to just stay positive and stop thinking all bout the woes. It'll just bring me down and I think they're right. Today I hasn't cried and I'm truly happy for that even though it seemed like nothing to some of you. I can't wait to see him and there's only another four days to go and I'm really excited. There's nothing else I can do now but hope for the best. I hope all of you here will hope for the best for me too. And I need luck, lots and lots of them. 'Cus this time is my last chance and I'm going all out to get my happiness back.