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❤ Date: Saturday, August 15, 2009
I want you to be strong :( Life is so unpredictable. One moment Leong & I were happily flirting, laughing at each other, the other moment sis summoned me into her room and told me to be prepared for a shocking news. Before I stepped into her room, Adrian even told me not to cry. After the news broke, I was shocked for a second or two. But I didn't cry, although tears were struggling hard in my eyes. Quietly. I went back to my room and told Leong about it. And I broke into tears straightaway.
I never knew such things could happen to someone so close to me, to us. I've always treated him as an elder brother, and I'll always be giggling away when being around him. He's like a happy pill. He never minds how people look and think of him. He's glad to be himself, and has many plans for future. Upon hearing the news, my mind immediately flashed back to the times when we had tauhuay together, him imitating Lady Gaga in the car, times when he came over for MJ... & the last time I saw him, we were talking about something like this, not long ago. Seems like it was lesser than a month. Then, he was as usual happy-go-lucky, healthy, living life to the fullest. That night, he kept bragging that he's going to HK to enjoy his holidays. But now... things changes too fast.
I'm depressed not because of what happened to him, but what's going to happen to him for the rest of his life. I don't know if he could still ignore all those stares presented to him, I don't know if he could be as happy as he used to. But I'm heartbroken. Because he's a nice guy and I really think it's totally unfair for something like this to be happening to him. Why him? We're always hearing this thing happening to people in other countries, on TV, on documentries but just not someone so close to us. Though we aren't close, but he treats me really well, I know he dotes on me, think of me like a sister to him. I do too, I adore him too much. Sigh, why?
Leong and I were secretly hoping that perhaps something went wrong in between, this is not the truth. Just a second ago, I thought it was all a dream. I'm so upset. Earlier on, I couldn't stop crying. I wished I could hug him and tell him everything will be alright. Why do all kind souls has to receive unfair treatment? This, I really don't know...