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❤ Date: Saturday, February 27, 2010
I need help :(
I have this feeling that I don't like. Especially not at this time. There's this weird feeling churning inside my stomach, I tried to act normal but I can't. I'm irritated and I'm throwing despising glances, I know you don't know what I'm talking bout, but I don't want to make it too obvious. I am going to fuck this up, aren't I? Cus it feels exactly like the previous time. Oh my god, no please, please don't let it happen this time :(
❤ Date: Friday, February 26, 2010
snips,
i cut my hair! i know it's not much of a difference bcus i'm trying to keep it long, still i had it trimmed and i personally really think berne's hands and his scissors can do wonders :)
met ming aft her work and then we went for manipedi & then she accompanied me to my haircut. i bought an aviator shades too! excited to wear it out. & everyth's been confirmed, leaving on sunday first thing in the morning. won't be back till probably two weeks later! i am excited :D
❤ Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010
freaky fingers.
isn't my manicure niceeee? in love w it cus the colour is somehow the same as tiffany's blue box. :) it's not even OPI but it doesnt seemed to be matter, most importantly is that it's good and it's cheap!
i have to ask my dad the question tomorrow, and honestly i'm frightened to death. it's not going to be all good i know. it definitely will involve some crying and scolding and arguing but i don't want to care... cus i want this so badly. urgh, growing up i never have to ask my parents' permission bout anyth. i'm not asking them now as well, just informing them bout what i'm going to do.. still... :(
❤ Date: Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Say it again, for me.
I am so excited! I have tons lining up for me during the hols, but first I have to finish studying by tonight and score well for my paper tmrw since my paper today was alr screwed. My heart beats twice as fast when I think of the holidays. Yay :D
❤ Date: Monday, February 22, 2010
I will love you forever and that's the problem.
I have such low faith in my paper tomorrow. I studied for the major question, it shouldn't be a huge problem. But the rest of the paper... oh gosh. I regret that I spent too much of my time studying things that aren't important. Still, I hope the rest of the paper turns out to be easy, I hope I can at least get a B? Man, I don't like this feeling. I like being proud of the fact of knowing that I will be able to score well even before seeing the paper. And tomorrow, that's not happening.
Anyway, had a spat... I want to trust you and believe you baby, 'cause I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. And one time I tried to imagine forever with somebody else, and it's just so weird and out-of-place. I want you and I promise, promise that I will have 100% faith in you like you have in me. Cus I really really do love you. :)
Time check: 4:04. Three more hours and I'm going to be awake again for the paper. Sigh :(
❤ Date: Sunday, February 21, 2010
so i fly here then we fly there then you fly back there and i fly back here.
finally came up with a whole new plan of meeting up with leong in the upcoming holidays. and he agreed to everything that i've said! & i'm crossing my fingers that tomorrow morning he don't come telling me that he rmbrs nothing bcus hes was alr dozing off when i said it. :( anyway i am quite excited even though it involves great sum of money. uh well. long-distance relationships = spending of money. but getting to see him is the best part and there's nothing i wouldn't do to just spend more time with him! :D
right now i've gotta bath to keep me energize and chiong finish the last two chaps. i haven't even start on ah nan's revision, omg :(
❤ Date: Saturday, February 20, 2010
CNY'10.
I am finally here to blog about CNY! Actually it wasn't my initial intention to blog but I got inspired by others' blogs who have pretty pictures on their blog and so here I am!
First day,
usual family visiting and I won big bucks from playing Lok Dim. It's a no-brainer game and I kept winning and so I told everybody it is a fun game. But all my sisters disagreed with me cus they didn't win at all hehe.
they.are.just.jealous.
Met with my girls afterwards for "Valentines' day", I know I've mentioned it alr but this show is nice so please watch it - single or attached :) Before the movie, we headed to 糖水春 not for their 糖水 but for their dim sum. And I swear the lighting there is so good, it's the best place to take photographs ever.
Tried to smize like what Tyra Banks asked the models to do, but look at our version:
FAILED MISERABLY.
Haha in one picture when we took smize-ing really seriously, we ended up looking like we were stoning haha. Sersiously uh, bu shi model de liao jiu bu yao xue zuo model hahaha.
Next,
over to Chin's old place for some overnight goody-goody gambling session :)
& then when we finally got to playing mj, we had to diao-zhng so many times that we gave up after West. & then proceeded with banluck and thanks to Chin's bak-kwa, everyone got so high after eating it, especially me. And Chris. Hahaha thinking back, I think that's the funniest hour of the entire CNY.
& Wilson was so sweet he bought us girls roses from another girl who couldn't finish selling it. I think Chris shared with him? I don't know but it was really sweet of them. I got reminded of vday when we were 16 and this bunch of guys gave me and Yeeling vday presents too :)
Second day,
visiting as usual and sister's place for gambling. Lucky Nelson actually got triple sevens, woohoo, and then Chris called and asked if I was up for another round that night. And I agreed!
So we went over to Sam's and gambled till dawn, again.
Third day,
the girls came over for steamboat! I really liked that we could sit there and talked for as long as we wanted to, which was seriously very long haha. Though we had to clean up on our own after that but nevermind lah, worth the while right!
& then the four of us went to some sleazy website and laughed at some really disgusting fella with disgusting clothes HAHAHA I have to show those pictures to Leong man I swear. That fella totally made my day.
And then, if you're wondering why I still have time to blog about these, it's because everytime while I wait for Leong to call, I can't study. Nothing goes into my mind. But after the call, I can concentrate as much as I want to. So, as part of an excuse, I might as well come here and use some internet since nothing is going into my head right!
Have a happy day studying guys!
❤ Date:
& i'm so glad that you're mine. :)
the reason why i always say leong is my best friend: last night over the phone we were talking bout celebrities, here goes -
me: then i prettier or angelina jolie prettier HAHAHA
him: you. cus i dont like angelina jolie
me: HUH you dont like angelina jolie? but she hot eh. then who you like?
him: that girl not bad uh... the taylor.... swift taylor.
me: WAH since when you know who is taylor swift!
him: eh i read newspaper they got put one lei. yah she not bad uh. she with the old guy now right?
me: who who old guy? she was with the wolfman guy
him: yah i know, but they broke up alr mah. she with the old guy now lah, the john... john mayer isit?
me: really meh! i dont know leh. wait uh (went googling)... wah really eh! leong im so proud of you, since when you so hip one!
him: correct right hehe.
me: the wolfman guy taylor lautner hot meh, why everyone say he hot?
him: taylor lautner uh... not handsome lah. okok only lor.
me: hehe yah lor i also think so. then zac efron lei?
him: wah that one no need say.... of cus hot lah!
hehehe talking to him is like gossiping with my girlfriends. hes unlike other boyfriends who will just "mm' and "uh" when you tell him bout girly stuffs, instead he will comment and sometimes bitch with me hahahaha. told you hes my bestest friend :D
❤ Date: Friday, February 19, 2010
珍惜眼前人，
一直在想，我和他到底适不适合？
会不会我想要的他都给不了？
是否我们上次的分手不只是因为距离的关系那样简单？
会否我们一直以来都在骗自己？
说真的，这段日子我挣扎的好辛苦。
之间很清楚要的只是他，
多艰难的路途我都要为了和他在一起而拼下去。
可是随着他伤害我越来越多次，我渐渐的感到心灰。
是否应该继续，还是该趁现在放弃？
两个人在一起是因为需要彼此吗？
如果不需要彼此但仍想和他一起，那不是爱的比需要来得深吗？
就好比女人爱上了一个皮包，但她是不需要那个皮包的，
可是因为太爱了，所以即使不需要也要把它占有，这不是比需要来的更爱吗？
我是需要他的。
只不过随着这些日子的聚少离多，讨厌孤寂的我也渐渐习惯了一个人生活。
是的，有他在的时候，是真的很快乐，很幸福。
因为他是我最好的朋友，他是每晚无论多累也要听我倾诉的那个人。
即使常常都会听到睡着了，他也会拼了命的听我讲完。
也许没那么需要了，但爱始终却没有减少。
只是有些时候看到朋友和爱人的照片，不停的向我示威着，心里难免感到有点空虚。
似乎很久没有感到 in love 了。
心中不免有些埋怨，也开始在想是不是我要的你也许都给不了。
我也开始嫌东嫌西，
嫌你的不浪漫，嫌你的不体贴，嫌你不够爱我。
开始想着如果你不能满足我，我们是不是应该分手。
但偶然间，
我看到了这句话：
”什么也不求，所以什么也不缺”。
我才顿时领悟到是我的要求太高了，
是我常常放大你的缺点来看。
想着你的坏处时，也从来没有想到才昨晚，是我因为想着你多么爱我而睡不着。
才昨夜，是我像个傻瓜般在午夜时分仍对着自己傻笑。
人就是这样，
特别是像我这样的女生，
盲目的追求，
却忽略其实现在所拥有的已是足够的了。
“Hold the correct person close to your heart because your might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.”
❤ Date: Tuesday, February 16, 2010
gong xi ah gong xi, fa ya fa da cai!
look at our faces and you know we're losing big bucks haha.
the cny vibe finally kicked in after reunion dinner when i started to win money fr my sisters and bros -in-law! the last few days have been crazy gambling. on vday, watched valentines day with gladys and casse. the movie was good, pls go and catch it! & then had dinner w chris and gang and off to play overnight mj and banluck at liangchin's old house! at the end of the night all of us got so high fr eating bak-kwas, we were literally shouting 'LAI' all the way when we open our cards, it was so funny i got so tired from laughing hehe.
yesterday, to my dad's side for visiting and then another round of banluck at my sister's. it was so fun playing with my family, cracking jokes about absolutely nothing. & then chris called and last minute plans - we went to sam's place and for another round of overnight banluck!
and for today, in another hour my favourite girls in the whole wide world is coming over to my house for steamboat session! can't wait, i've got so much to tell them. :)
and i miss my guy. hes over at bkk and with some phone probs, we've only texted each other less than 5 times over the last 4 days. how pathetic. and i hope he can faster go back to miri so we can resume our normal lives. and also, for exams to end quickly so i can fly over to him asap! <3
❤ Date: Saturday, February 13, 2010
hi i am stupid.
come to think of it, what leong said about me was true. i am stupid enough to let people take advantage of me, and then cry to myself at the end of the night. and by the next day, i act like nothing has happened and continue to treat those people nicely and give them whatever I can give. I wish I can stop letting people hurting me without letting them realize that what they are doing to me is wrong. And it hurts even more when one of those people is someone who is so important to me. sighs.
❤ Date: Sunday, February 7, 2010
:(
Going through a rough patch... being so faraway doesn't help at all, in fact it certainly make things worse. I am so disheartened but I am reluctant to give this relationship up. Everyone knows how hard I fought for this and am definitely going to fight for it. But sometimes, I can only do so much.
❤ Date:
How to win over a Virgo man
Don't press this guy for sentimentality. If he doesn't make a big deal about your relationship anniversary, remember all the little things he does day to day. He's got a steady nature and won't want too much drama. He likes order, routine and keeping his life under control. Get involved with his daily routine, and soon you'll be integrated into his life.
He's a true hermit, so don't force too much togetherness. His Sun sign destiny is to achieve self-containment, and this requires a lot of solitude. Give him the freedom to go off and do his own thing, and he'll keep coming back.
❤ Date: Tuesday, February 2, 2010
give thanks to technology!
had my first webcam session with baby just now! tried skype-ing and everything for so long but nothing worked, until we finally worked out a solution and managed to video call! you don't know how big my smile was when his face popped up on the screen hehehe. he still looks so handsome HAHA but fatter. oh man, hahaha people big boss now, whole day long sit in the shop collect money no wonder.
i am so happy i finally got to see him! just seeing him moving in front of me is good enough, i can now continue my tahan-nation till march! yippee :D
❤ Date: Monday, February 1, 2010
LGMH.
I.AM.SO.TIRED.
woke up after a mere one and a half hour's sleep this morning at 7 and popped over to ecp for 'run for my lunch', didn't run... obviously hahaha but i did my part okay! all for the cause of charity. came home and slept for 5 hours straight, so satisfying. anyway, met wan aft that and got a new camera. couldn't stop playing with it and now i am so exhausted, my eyelids are crashing shut.
on a side note, i realized how much my dad loves my mom. he was experimenting with my new camera, and looking through the pictures of gladys and i. he just scrolled through the pictures of us, and when it's a picture of my mom, he would pause and admire it for ten seconds before continuing. and when taking pictures, he would take pictures of my super unglam mom instead of his all-dressed-up daughter - me. i look at how their eyes sparkle when they look at each other and how they make each other laugh so easily. it's very heartwarming to know that people are actually capable of staying in love even after so long. :)